So after
many tears, yells and screams, and being held at gun-point (just a figure of speech but equally as dangerous) , I went to submit my subject combinations.
Going to appeal to Arts Stream tmr.
Feeling really down about it.
I'm dreading going back to school..
I suppose all i can do now is hope for the best and pray that the next two years of my life will be a fulfilling and happy one, just like the experience i had in TK.
Today i was really glad to spend a day with Joycelyn.
It was a good cheery session, and her place was so much better than staying hme and being in the awkward presence of my dad, who stayed hme today.
Did some
baking!
My first time, and i have to say, it's really not bad!
Baking didn't turn out to be difficult at all, Ingredients were nt that pricey either, and the grocery shopping experience was fun too.
I felt my maternal instincts yearning to get out as we went to Fairprice in the morning, and during the baking process lol.
So the cake didn't turn out as like cake texture, and it came out as some crumbly thing, but it tasted sooooooo good, just like how dark choc would taste, and it's really smooth and not too dry.
And although it turned out to look like a pancake, instead of a lava cake, it was still great.
I ate a loooooot of the lava centres she froze.
The chocs really made me feel so light-hearted and happy.
I love chocolates.
And i bought
Ben and Jerry's New York Double Fudge (?) (shit forgot the name) ice cream to cheer myself up. Just looking at the tub alone makes me feel happier alrdy.
Good experience, i like.
Can't wait to do it again lol =)
I'm thankful for my bestfriends, who's words of support were much needed ytd.
I'm glad to be able to hear the "No matter what you choose, i'll be behind you and supporting you all the way".
And I guess everyone else meant well for me..and they were all so against me going anywhere else other than JC because they knew it was the best option to take.
Until now, i may not still believe in the path i forcibly chose, but i guess time will probably change my mindset.
So yeah..
I just felt
so angry with everyone because i felt like i was going to TPJC because my parents made a blunder and i had to "suffer" for it. I felt
angry that i didn't get to make my choice, because as i quote my mum, i did not "
violently reject" her choice.
What am i supposed to do? Was she actually suggesting that i should have kicked her, punched her, and hold a knife to her neck and threatened to kill her and after that commit suicide just so she could give in to me? I felt even more
angry when they started bribing me with holidays and materialistic stuff just so i could go to TPJC, and i hated it even more when she started pulling in my aunty to help her. Like wtf.
I'm no longer the 8 yr old girl who could be bribed into cutting her hair if you just treat her to loads of sweets and stickers.Furthermore, this concerns my future, and no matter how well you mean, you shouldn't use this way to coax me into choosing something.
This is just wrong.
Right now,
Really wish i could turn back time now.
Then i could have "
violently rejected" my mum's idea.
Oh wait. I wouldn't even ask her for her choice.
I would just go ahead with it and not tel her anything at all.
Like how i'm going to do it in future.
Lesson learnt.
